“The flaws you see in others are actually a reflection of yourself.”
– Eve Branson
Have you ever wanted to change another person (be it your life partner, family member, friend, or colleague) when that important relationship in your life wasn’t going as well as you’d have liked?
If only the other person was kinder. A little less selfish. More ambitious. Or more hard-working.
If only the other person did things this way instead of that. Did more of this and a lot less of that.
If only…
What if I told you that you COULD bring about change, just not in the way you may have envisioned?
See, you cannot change another human being.
But you CAN change your behaviours and attitudes around them.
You CAN change the way you look at them, by taking your magic wand, tapping it to your mind, and asking yourself:
1) What is it that I dislike or desire to change in my loved one?”
AND
2) Where do I have moments when I display those very same traits or actions I despise and wish to change?”
Remember, whatever you see in others, you have in yourself, even if you may express it in a different form.
I always say this to my clients, “Whenever you point a finger at someone else, three fingers point back at you.” What you spot, you got.
When I was working with one of the couples on the tv show “Saving our Marriage” On SABC 3, the wife pointed a finger at her husband and said, “He never shows me that he loves me.”
She specifically wanted her husband to show his love for her by working harder and bringing in more money.
I then asked her these quality questions to help her change the way she was looking at her husband:
1 :: “Where do YOU see that YOU are not working hard and bringing money into the relationship?” In other words where do you see the three fingers pointing back at you?
(Because what she was seeing in her husband was a reflection of herself.)
2 :: “What are the ways in which he is showing his love for you?”
(He showed her love by showering her with hugs and kisses.)
3 :: “What will be the benefits for you when you respond to his unique expression of love — his hugs and kisses — instead of giving him a dirty look or pulling away from him?
(So that she may see how her husband’s unique expression of love was serving her and her marriage.)
Learn more about the magic of bringing change into your relationship(s) by watching this recorded live stream
There may not be any magic that will allow you to change the things you dislike in your loved one(s).
But there is magic in your perceptions.
There is magic in your willingness to change the way you look at the people you love.
And there is definitely magic in seeing yourself reflected in your loved one(s).
If you wish to bring about magical changes in your relationship, I invite you to invest in yourself.
Invest in your growth. Invest in your empowerment. Invest in the best version of YOU.
Because the greatest, most special gift you can give to your loved one(s) is your own development and mastery.
Drop me an email at ilze@ilzealberts.com or send me a WhatsApp if you are ready to invest in your empowerment and your relationship(s).
I will connect with you on a free discovery call to help you decide on the best action plan for YOU and your goals.
The magic wand is in YOUR hands.
From my heart to yours,
Ilze
