“People unconsciously repel the very things they are seeking. Observe. Answers lay hidden there.”
– LeAura Alderson
Since time immemorial, people have searched for the ideal partner with whom they can share the pains and pleasures of life.
Sometimes the search returns the result they hope for.
Sometimes the search returns a somewhat “disappointing” result.
And sometimes the search doesn’t really take off — not because the searcher doesn’t desire a relationship with his/her ideal partner, but because there is a barrier blocking the entry to a meaningful relationship.
Here are the three main barriers:
- Carrying forth the pain from previous relationships
When people have the perception that their previous relationship(s) was too painful, they often aren’t willing to open themselves up to a new relationship.
They fear that committing to a new relationship will only create more pain for them.
- The belief that there is “no one” out there
Women who are very successful, both in their careers and finances, will typically look for a partner who either matches or exceeds their success.
They view the dating pool to be very small, and often self-sabotage by having the belief that there’s “nobody out there” for them.
It is possible for a woman to have a meaningful relationship with a partner who doesn’t have the same financial and career success as her. However, that partner must be able to provide something else that is of high importance to the woman.
For example, I once had a client (a woman) who was vocationally and financially successful. She had young kids and met a man — an author not as successful as her— who worked from home. Being that this man wanted and was able to care for the kids, he could provide something of high importance to my client.
- The “I have kids so I can’t have a relationship” belief
When people have the belief that no one will be interested in them because they have kids, or that they can’t expose their kids to someone else, they are standing in the way of building a meaningful relationship with their ideal partner.
Children will only be negatively impacted by a relationship between their parent and his/her partner if the parent becomes emotionally unavailable, physically absent, or drops off the children by their grandparents or other relatives most of the time. Otherwise, the presence of a new partner will NOT traumatize the children.
If you have been exploring the dating world but haven’t been able to attract anyone you were interested in, it is possible that you have been playing out a subconscious strategy.
See, it could be that you don’t quite feel ready to bring a new partner into your life — 50% of you is blocking out the manifestation of your ideal partner.
So, what can you do about it?
You could list the benefits of finding your ideal partner.
And if you would like some help with that or anything else you think may be blocking you from having a meaningful relationship with your ideal partner, I am here for you.
Just send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or WhatsApp, and we can set up a free discovery call to discuss the next step toward having that relationship you so deserve.
From my heart to yours,