“The first secret of getting what you want is knowing what you want.”

– Arthur. D Hlavaty

When it comes to attracting your ideal partner — the one you envision sharing your hopes, dreams, and life with — it’s important that you are clear about:

  1. What is of high value and priority to YOU
  2. What exactly you are looking for in your ideal partner

As you compile your “shopping list”, specifying all the things that would be relationship “deal-makers”, it is wise to consider your relationship “dealbreakers” as well.

A relationship dealbreaker refers to any factor or issue that would make you withdraw from a relationship.

These dealbreakers are the definite “no-no’s” that influence your decision to walk away from a relationship regardless of how many boxes your potential partner ticks off on that “shopping list.”

Knowing what these dealbreakers are, means knowing what exactly will push you away from your potential partner.

While dealbreakers vary from person to person, I have found these 6 (big) dealbreakers to be the most common:

  1. Infidelity

When both partners have agreed to a monogamous relationship, and one partner is unfaithful, it is challenging to rebuild that initial trust, making infidelity one of the biggest relationship dealbreakers.

  1. Financial volatility

Another big dealbreaker comes from a partner’s inability to manage finances. More specifically, when he/she acquires a large sum of money, loses it, and acquires it again, falling into a cycle of financial volatility.

  1. Substance abuse

Whether it is alcohol, drugs, or prescription medication, having a partner with a substance abuse problem poses many relationship challenges, and is, therefore, a major dealbreaker for people.

  1. Use of pornography

Even as pornography becomes more and more accessible and less “taboo,” there are many people that are more on the conservative side and are opposed to having their partner watch pornography.

  1. Inappropriate behaviour toward children

Single parents (especially mums) who see their children as their highest value and priority will look for partners who are caring and love children.

Any inappropriate behaviour toward their children, be it negligence or abuse, will be a definite dealbreaker.

  1. Lack of sexual intimacy

In relationships, there is always one partner that will want to have sex more than the other. There are times where one partner may want it and the other doesn’t, and vice versa.

It can be a dealbreaker when one partner withholds or refuses sex, and the other partner feels rejected, unattractive, frustrated, and unappreciated as a result.

It can also be a dealbreaker when the partner with the higher sex drive has more fantasies and wants to do more adventurous things in the bedroom, but the other partner doesn’t want to.

So, what are your relationship dealbreakers?

And have you ever viewed something as a dealbreaker, only to change your mind after being in a relationship?

Drop me an email at ilze@ilzealberts.com or send me a WhatsApp if you would:

  1. Love to attract your ideal partner and would like some guidance
  2. Love to work through the issues you once considered relationship “dealbreakers”
  3. Love to build a meaningful relationship with your partner

We can have a chat about how I can be of service to you.

From my heart to yours,


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