“Sometimes when you think you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.”
– Christine Caine
In every transition that I have undergone in my life, I felt stuck.
I also felt challenged. Overwhelmed. Fearful.
And I lost my identity.
But when I look back on those life transitions — and see how they contributed to the bigger picture — I get it.
I understand that no matter how painful I perceived them to be, these transitions were working in my favour.
My first big transition came when I matriculated, left my parents’ home, and went off to university.
Although I was most looking forward to that wonderful time at university, the first couple of months were really hard on me. I missed my parents terribly, and I just wanted to go back home.
But I stuck it out, and after some time, university became such fun! I learned to cut those apron strings from my parents and grow into my own independence.
After I completed my first degree, I decided that I wanted to travel and see the world. The easiest way to do that was to become an air hostess.
Upon taking the mandatory medical assessment, I discovered that I had a chronic disease — diabetes type 1.
This massive transition ultimately changed the trajectory of my life. From being a healthy person (in my perception), I had to now inject myself with insulin multiple times a day to manage a chronic disease. As a result of this diabetes diagnosis, I left my air hostess aspirations behind and took up a teaching position.
Honestly, I’m so glad I didn’t become an air hostess because going back into teaching pushed me into my next major transition: becoming a psychologist.
My heart’s desire to become a psychologist grew from really wanting to help the children I taught as well as their parents. Although it was challenging — finishing my master’s degree in psychology while raising my two young kids — it was certainly rewarding. It was through this transition (from a teacher to a psychologist) that I found my calling.
However, it wasn’t too long before I faced a really painful transition.
I was 32 years old with two kids when my husband decided that our marriage wasn’t working for him anymore and asked for a divorce. Despite trying to fight for our marriage, I had to eventually concede and accept the divorce.
During this transition from a happily married woman to a single, divorced mum, I felt disempowered and lost. I truly felt like the biggest failure on this planet.
However, this painful, challenging transition turned into one that liberated me. Because of it, I embarked on a journey of self-empowerment which has been, and continues to be immensely rewarding and fulfilling.
On this journey, I became a family-focused psychologist and expert play therapist, really loving the work I was doing in the psychology centre I owned.
But then came another massive transition.
I woke up one night to find that my husband (from my second marriage) was not in bed. After a while, when he still hadn’t returned, I went to search for him and found him dead. He had died from a heart attack in the early hours of a Tuesday morning.
That was another moment in my life where the earth shattered underneath me and everything became dark and hopeless. I was in my mid-forties with two teenage children, without a husband. Again.
The transition from a married woman to a widow really, really challenged me, but it also prompted me to grow my understanding of human behaviour, master the Demartini method so that I may incorporate it in my personal and work life, and learn how to use the power of the mind to overcome anything life throws at me.
I’m now transitioning into another phase of my life — I turned 60 two years ago. Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung said this is the age where you start to turn back to yourself and become more authentic. And I am honestly learning so much about myself. I’m now a grandmother facing the wrinkles, the aging, and all the challenges that go along with that! But I know that this life transition is going to bless me if I go through it with dignity and wisdom, using the tools I have at my disposal.
Another big transition that I am currently undergoing is the move from a home that I’ve lived in for 26 years to a home in another province. There are memories of 26 years that I’m rediscovering and releasing. While this transition is stretching me in a new way, I know how to look after myself and use the power of my mind when things become too overwhelming.
I also know that I’m not alone. Along with my toolbox of tools, I have wonderful people I can turn to should I require support and guidance.
I wish to be that support and guidance for you. And I wish to share my toolbox of tools with you.
You do not have to journey alone.
You do not have to face these challenging transitions alone.
I invite you to reach out to me through email (ilze@ilzealberts.com) or WhatsApp if you are transitioning into a new phase of your life.
I would love to chat to you about how you can approach this transition with wisdom and an open heart. I can offer you my support and professional help in many ways; from one-on-one counselling to onboarding you on my new program, launching beginning August 2021 called TURNING POINT.
PS. I have a brochure can forward to you if you want to know more.
Remember, our life transitions can teach us things about ourselves we never knew if we humble ourselves enough to become students. Again. And again. And again.
From my heart to yours,
Ilze
