The importance of respect in marriage

I am the expert psychologist for SABC 3’s television series called “Saving our Marriage”. I will share key elements in saving your marriage or taking your marriage to the next level.

Why is respect important?

Everybody wishes to be loved and appreciated for who they are. It goes hand and hand with respecting each other. Loosing respect for your partner or your partner lost respect for you can be heart breakimg. It means the same as “I don’t like you anymore and I look down at you.”

How can you regain respect?

Recognising what specific contributed to you losing respect for your partner. You can counter balance it by reminding yourself what you can respect in your partner. One of the couples in the tv series acknowledged this is a key part of their marital problems. She has lost respect for him because he is not employed and she is now the breadwinner. I asked her “what can you respect in your partner?” She listed a couple of important aspects of what she respects in him. One was for instance that he looks after the children and drive them around.

Respect starts with self respect

You cannot change your partner but you can change the way you look at your partner. Have respect for yourself by using the wisdom and power of your mind to change the way you look at your partner. Self respect is the ability to use the best of you to create the best life for you. Having a one sided view of your partner is disrespectful to you. Respect your ability to see the best and not only the worst in your partner
Respect each other by looking at the good and not so good sides of each other. Your partner is a person and is not perfect.

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