“Self-management, therefore, is all about becoming your own leader by training your mental, physical, social, and intellectual faculties in different ways” – Dr Prem Jagyasi

Have you ever felt as if a challenge, event, or person had control over your thoughts, emotions, and actions?

Perhaps you couldn’t stop thinking about such a challenge, event, or person.

Perhaps your emotions were all over the place as a result of thinking about it.

And perhaps you acted in a particular way because of those thoughts and emotions, thereby becoming “managed” by forces other than yourself.

If you do not learn to manage yourself, other things/people will.

Managing yourself is taking responsibility for your behaviour and well-being.

A self-managed person has the ability to exercise control over his/her thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.

Here’s what you can do to manage yourself:

Embrace challenges and obstacles

Life is not all smooth-sailing — we all face our fair share of challenges, pains, and losses. While we may not have a choice in what life throws our way, we certainly have a choice in how we respond to this.

Exercise self-management by asking yourself this quality question when facing a challenge:

“How is this challenge/obstacle helping me, and what about it is positve for me?”

Asking yourself this question will help you to better manage your emotions by showing you that every challenge (as big as it may seem) always has benefits that serve you in some way or another.

When I was being “managed” by my golf swing, I asked myself this question.

I discovered that my less-than-impressive golf swing actually worked to get my husband to focus his attention on me!

Once I acknowledged that I was subconsciously playing out a strategy to get my husband’s attention, I realized that I could have his attention more freely if I managed my golf swing, thereby allowing us to have a more pleasant game.

Disrupt yourself

Now, “disruptive” in this sense does not mean being unruly or disciplined. Rather, it refers to stepping out of your comfort zone; showing new, original, and innovative thinking and action that brings about change.

I once had a client — a man in his early fifties — who bought a package of consultations from me.

He wished to empower himself and land a leadership role in the international company he worked for, and so my mentoring sessions focused on how he could “disrupt” himself.

We worked on disrupting his current thinking of how he wished to lead (internal thinking), and looked externally, identifying the most compelling needs of the team he would be leading.

My client’s focus shifted to serve the team’s need of working more in cohesion. (He had to focus on the bigger picture in which he could play an impactful role.)

He then worked on owning the 5 outstanding traits that would make him the leader he wished to be.

By facing his fears and insecurities, disrupting his internal and self-focused thinking, and including external and other-focused thinking, my client was able to manage both himself as well as his new team.

Would you love to learn more about self-management?

I will be sharing more tips with you, so keep an eye out for How to manage yourself so others won’t: Part 2.”

And, if you are currently feeling managed by someone/something or wish to “disrupt yourself” to place yourself in a better position to achieve that goal, then send me a WhatsApp or email at ilze@ilzealberts.com.

I would love to chat with you and help you exercise better self-management.

From my heart to yours,


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