“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have you ever felt insecure in your relationship with your significant other? I can certainly relate to this.
Perhaps you’ve thought about how the love of your life may prefer someone either better-looking, brighter, more socially adept, richer, or more successful than you…
And perhaps you’ve lost some of your confidence in your relationship as a result…
Insecurities and inadequacies stem from certain fears you may have. These fears can trip you up so much in your relationship. Is it time to face and overcome your fears?
There are 7 types of FEARS that can affect your relationship:
1. Physical Appearance Fear
With a physical appearance fear, you are afraid that you may not be attractive or appealing enough. Should your partner look in someone else’s direction, and you see that person as having more of a particular physical trait than you do (sexiness/good looks), you end up feeling insecure and envious.
2. Social fear
A social fear typically shows up during social gatherings. You fear that:
i. Your partner’s friends and colleagues may not like or approve of you, or
ii. You may not like or approve of them, or
iii. Your partner might find your social skills lacking, or
iv. Your partner might ignore you when socialising with his/her friends.
3. Familial fear
If you have this type of fear, you are afraid of not receiving the love, acceptance, or approval of your partner’s family. You fear that your partner’s family may not deem you worthy or “good enough.”
4. Financial fear
If you have a financial fear, you are afraid of not having/making enough money. The fear of not having sufficient money, be it for day-to-day expenses or future plans, can cause division in a relationship.
5. Vocational (work/career) fear
With a vocational fear, you worry that you may not be “good enough” or successful enough in the work you have chosen to do. “Work” refers to whatever activities you engage in during the main hours of the day to provide a service, be it running your own company or caring for your children as a stay-at-home mom or dad.
This fear can result in an UNEQUAL relationship should you perceive yourself as being less successful (work-wise) than your partner.
6. Mental fear
If you have a mental fear, you are afraid of not being smart enough or educated enough. These insecurities around your mental abilities can also result in an UNEQUAL relationship should you compare your mental abilities to your partner and perceive him/her as being more intelligent or knowledgeable than you.
7. Spiritual fear
Having a spiritual fear means that you are afraid of either:
i. Having no meaning in life and living a life without purpose, or
ii. The opinions of others (especially your partner) regarding your spirituality.
If you are unable to see the meaning and purpose you bring to your partner’s life, you will minimize yourself. And anytime one partner in a relationship minimizes him or herself, the relationship shifts to being UNEQUAL.
An unequal relationship is one where one partner is placed on a pedestal and the other in the pit.
An equal relationship is one where both partners are on an equal playing field and can thus reach out and place each other in (their) hearts.
So, what sort of relationship would you love to have?
Are you ready to work through those fears standing in the way of that relationship?
If the word “work” makes you think about hard, grueling labour—don’t despair. I am able to help you break through your relationship fears in a variety of ways.
Drop me an email at ilze@ilzealberts.com and we can set up a free call to discuss how I can help you overcome the fears preventing you from having the relationship you would most love to have.
From my heart to yours,
Ilze
